Less than while being more than
Saturday, June 02, 2018
Y'know all those motivational platitudes about moving out of your comfort zone, or living life outside of your comfort zone?
FIND YOUR COMFORT ZONE - THEN LEAVE IT!
LIFE BEGINS AT THE END OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!
GREAT THINGS NEVER CAME FROM COMFORT ZONES!
Lemme give you a different way to look at the phrase.
Pretty much all my life I have felt uncomfortable.
Chosen last at kickball, made to wear the matronly ballet costume because it was bigger than all the other ones, being the youngest kid in the "teen" Weight Watchers meeting.
Being called Gail the Whale.
That's a pretty uncomfortable childhood.
The discomfort shifted as an adult.
Having the armrests dig into your hips at a theater, having a theme park employee shove the safety bar into your gut until it clicked, getting stupid "atta girls" from people at the gym because they thought I had never worked out before ("I'm a regular and I can squat you under the table, old man!").
Postponing routine bloodwork because if I give it a couple more months I can turn it all around with extra fish oil and walking and kale.
So I've been out of my comfort zone for quite awhile now, always feeling bigger or slower or lumpier or somehow "less than" while being "more than."
* * *
A couple weeks ago we went to a baseball game and I realized that I could stick my purse next to me on the set.
Next to me on the seat!
I wasn't hip-checking my neighbor or having the armrests nudge into my sides. I was comfortably sitting in the seat, bumping into nothing and no one.
I didn't feel the dread of intruding on someone else's space. My space was my own.
Comfortable in my comfort zone.
And now, some updates!
I deliberately added in more calories and carbs in May because I had been walking around lightheaded all the time, and I didn't like the feeling that I was going to fall over at the gym. I also have been trying and retrying foods to test my tolerance, and chicken and tomatoes are still on the naughty list. I just can't stomach them - literally. But some prepackaged protein shakes are back on the nice list, which is great because I have a lot of them. I had read that your tastes will evolve, and they really have. Stevia-sweetened things are still WAY too "aftertasty," but monkfruit sweetener is kinda nice. Overall, though, I do better with unsweetened stuff or just a touch of the real thing, like honey or agave.
Here's my progression from Feb. 1 of this year to June 1. The front view doesn't really show a lot of change in my eyes, but the side view really has me stoked. I'm a lot flatter in the midsection, and my upper arms have deflated a lot (but holy jiggles, Batman! Those things are wobbly!). Total weight dropped from the beginning of the year is 59 pounds. I am around 6 pounds away from Onederland.
And now, a song for the weekend!