The headline is for my nearly 2-month absence from here and for the following:

Don't be insulted if I don't try your Christmas cookies.

Don't ask me if I want to share your onion rings.

That's right, I'm drinking kombucha at a bar.

When my birthday rolls around in a few months, I will be skipping the cake.

It's time to say "no thanks," "not right now," "just water for me," and "none for me."

I have made this grand pronouncement for years upon years (HERE'S one from 2015!), and I'm jumping the gun on 2018 to say I'm gonna go nose to the grindstone and spend the next year losing as much weight as I humanly can without losing my mind.

What's different this time?

I pondered this question last night and decided that what will be different this year is that I'm not going to wiggle or stray or game the system or "just this once" or skip a day or any of that stuff that has slowed, stopped, or reversed me in the past.

Yeah, reversed.

Over the past year, perimenopause has finally settled in (seriously, I'm 55; how long was that going to go on? Like forever?) and, like magic, 20 pounds crept back on. Seriously, I didn't have to do a thing! 

(Hmmm ... maybe if I "did a thing" they wouldn't have crept back on but that's water under the bridge.)

My 2018 project needs to address the hormonal aspect of my new normal and attack the symptoms that come with the closing of Ye Olde Baby Factory -- like slowing metabolism, the need to get to sleep earlier (circadian rhythm FTW!), and the threat of bone and muscle loss.

Like I have stated countless times, I have been "trying to lose weight" since the age of 10. That is one shitty lifelong hobby, if you ask me. By fully committing to this project in the coming year, I can get the weight off and maybe take up bonsai or knitting or ice skating.

So I am going to read and research and work on a plan these next couple weeks, and I'll report back right before the New Year's ball drops. I'm committing to blogging once a week to document how my plan is working, whether it needs tweaks, and perhaps ask y'all what is working for you.

Deal?