Tunes for Tuesday: Do You, by Spoon
Tunes for Tuesday: Boneless, by Steve Aoki, Chris Lake & Tujamo

Garden Party

I haven't posted anything since last Tuesday, mostly because I was cranky and stewing over a bunch of stuff.

I stopped stewing today on the rowing machine, when the lyrics to an old song popped into my head:

"It's all right now,

I've learned my lesson well.

You see you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself."

To be quite honest, I am not a fan of oldies music. Gotta keep moving forward, no looking in the rear-view mirror -- that's kinda how I feel about music.

Oldies radio stations remind me of old dudes with ponytails and earrings, wearing Tommy Bahama shirts and riding around in PT Cruisers, thinking they're cool. (Apologies to anyone who may resemble that.)

But the song "Garden Party," released in 1972 (I was 10) by former teen-idol (possibly the first teen idol) Rick Nelson, has a cool, timeless vibe to it and the chorus always pops into my head when I need it.

I cranked up the wayback machine and listened to a couple versions of it on YouTube -- the original and a verson from nine years ago, sung by Rick Nelson's sons:

 If you're a regular reader of the blog, you might have been expecting a blog post from my sister today, reviewing the meal-delivery food I made for her last week. But it's not here. I had called and left messages and texted her all weekend to pick up this week's food but she said she wasn't near her phone.

Maybe she'll get back to me about it, maybe she won't -- I just can't stew about it. I need to deal with my own business.

"It's all right now,

I've learned my lesson well.

You see you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself."

Another "stew ingredient" -- I wrote a post a few weeks ago titled "Before I can inspire anyone else, I need to inspire myself." Shortly after I wrote that I received a well-meaning email from a relative, and frankly, I didn't know how to respond.

They suggested that I don't stick with a diet long enough to have one work, and, yeah, I have done that in the past, WHICH IS WHY I'M NOT ON A QUOTE-UNQUOTE DIET anymore. They also suggested that maybe I give Weight Watchers a try.

I've been giving Weight Watchers a try for (no lie) 42 YEARS -- that's when my mom signed me up, at age 10, right before my sister's Brownie fly-up ceremony, where I remember I wasn't allowed to eat a cookie because it was "illegal." (Yes, back in the day, foods on Weight Watchers were legal and illegal.) I do know many people who have been successful with Weight Watchers, but I am pretty sure they joined on their own terms and at a later age, when they were able to grasp the methods as adults and weren't "losing weight for Mommy."

"It's all right now,

I've learned my lesson well.

You see you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself."

But I'm not just winging it, willy-nilly, though. I'm following the principles of Robert Ferguson and his Diet Free Life. One of Robert's favorite quotes is from Ralph Waldo Emerson. Here's the full quote:

"As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.”

The principles of Robert's system are simple -- eat every 2 to 3 hours, balance your meals and keep within a certain caloric range for meals and snacks. Boom, that's it. Trouble is, I wasn't really embracing those principles. I kept fudging around with the timing (eating too frequently and hence MORE) and the amount of food and what I was eating and ... I was making it too complicated and neurotic. I tend to make myself crazy with internal "food rules," and they have never worked. So, as the faux-Australian restaurant chain says "No rules, just right."

So today I reset my intentions and made it easier for me to grasp the principles and to do that I drew a few boundaries so I can make them habits (sometimes you have to draw a few easy boundaries). I'm PRE-planning my meals and snacks, not just half-assed planning them. And eating them in the kitchen, at the table. Not in the den, not in the living room, and not at the kitchen counter out of the bag or box or bowl. And I'm stretching the time between meals and snacks to 3 hours instead of 2. This helps to release glucagon, which promotes the release of stored energy, ie, the extra stuff on your thighs. (That's another little thing I learned from Robert. He's also into maximizing hormones for weight loss.)

ere are my two snacks for later in the day:

Todays snacks

The bowl has some cut-up fruit -- cantaloupe, watermelon and a few grapes -- and that green thing is a Babybel mozzarella. That bowl contains 160 calories of real food.

My evening snack is a chocolate salted caramel Pure Protein bar, which is perfect for when I start haunting the kitchen looking for something resembling chocolate. It's also high in protein so that and a bottle of water should keep me for the night.

I'm already really good at planning my meals -- I have a husband and a teenager, and having all three of us sit down to dinner is important to me. It's MY in-between times, especially at night, not theirs, where things go haywire. So every day, at the beginning of the day, I'll squirrel away my snacks.

I wrestled a little with writing this today because it involves people in my family, and I pretty much never "go there." I also know that they read this blog ("Hi everyone! No need for concerned phone calls or emails! This is why I blog! I'm not suicidal! I'm actually really, really good! It's not about you! It's about me! Love ya!") but this stuff was important for ME to get off MY chest. For me, blogging is an exercise in uncovering layers, and this layer felt like it was Velcroed to me. 

Yes, I know what to do and what not to do.

Yes, I appreciate any and all concern.

Yes, I know that I can't make people do things they might not be ready to do just right now.

(Yes, this unburdening makes me feel fantastic.)

Time for a decorative quote!


image from

"It's all right now,

I've learned my lesson well.

You see you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself."