And I can now blame science for this.
Weight loss plus hormones create "a perfect storm" for regain, researchers say. The hormonal urge to eat actually rises when a person has lost weight. Here's my favorite quote from the USA Today story:
A key message of the study is that "it's better not to gain weight than to try to lose it," said Dr. George Bray of the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Baton Rouge, La.
Well, too late for that, doc. You should have gotten to me when I was 10. Or perhaps I can climb into a Delorean and warn my younger self not to eat my first-ever doughnut at the Girl Scout father-daughter square dance.
But does this discourage me? Hellz no! I take comfort in knowing I'm not some constantly hungry freak of nature.
When I'm not losing weight I'm not hungry. When I am successful at moving the scale downward I'm hungry nearly all the time. In fact, sometimes my stomach growls while I'm eating a meal.
And ever since I cut the wheat out of my diet (one month in!), the only time my stomach makes noises is when I'm hungry. Before, my stomach would "talk" to me all day long, but it was accompanied by discomfort. Now I know the difference.
And I guess I'll have to learn to respect the rumble.
Today, the Weight Shrink and I were coming up with words to use for how to deal with the non-full feeling. At first I said "enjoy" and that wasn't right. "Acknowledge" was too benign. But I can respect it. I know that I'm fighting against hormones and nature and primordial urges to eat-eat-eat. Don't get me wrong -- this isn't some "After-School Special starving yourself" kinda hungry. I'm eating three meals and a couple of snacks a day. But in between those times, there can be an empty growling.
And I don't like it. But dem's the facts and it won't get any easier when all the excess weight is gone. My body's going to want to pack the pounds back on and I'll have to say "No!" and grab a glass of water or a celery stick or a tree branch or learn to knit or something.
When I came up with "respect the rumble" today and came to grips with the fact that fighting the urge to eat will be a part of my life forever, I felt the clouds part and I think I heard angels singing. It's my new reality and perhaps over time, I can tune out the feeling and tune into how much better I'll feel at a healthy weight.
And now, for your enjoyment, here's Winnie the Pooh singing Rumbly in my Tumbly in Icelandic: