Gail got a new HR monitor... I'm getting her old one... May just put it to use on my vacation to Disney World...

We at Shrinking Sisters lurrrrve Current TV's Sarah Haskins. She has her pulse on pop culture and how it makes women basket cases -- everything from diet yogurt to fitness to ... oh, everything.

Enjoy this farewell to 2009 from Sarah:

I've spent plenty (too much) time away from diet, exercising and blogging, and have gained all but 10 pounds back from my rather public weight loss from 2 years ago. I'm ready (yet again) to regain control and to focus on me.

Today is Festivus, a time to perform feats of strength (perhaps a strength-training DVD?), admire the Festivus pole and to air our grievances. So here are mine:

• Why is White Wave reformulating its Silk Light soymilk with icky, icky stevia? It says it's to reduce the calories from 120 to 90 per cup but to me, stevia just makes everything taste weird and yucky (scientific term). If you want a truly tasty calorie-free sweetener, try erythritol. It's a non-stomach-distressing sugar alcohol extracted from fruit and some of it is even organic! It's a little pricey but well worth the cost when you taste it and see that there is no aftertaste and tastes just like sugar.

• Why do restaurants cram calories into stuff that sound relatively harmless? I just got the Eat This Not That Restaurant Survival Guide and was dismayed to see that the TGI Friday BBQ chicken wrap has 1,760 calories. WTF??? That's not just high, that's obscene!
  
• Why can't restaurants charge by the calorie? I came up with this brainstorm the other day when my son wanted to try the 395-calorie meal for $3.95 at KFC. You get two pieces of grilled chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy. Aside from the salt assault and the fact that the green beans mostly likely came out of a can, the meal was pretty good. So why don't restaurants charge by the calorie? Healthier food would be cheaper and the 2,000-calorie fat bombs would be $20.
  
• Why can't I write more often on my blog? (OK, that's just directed at me.) I have a couple other editing and writing gigs, but I need to focus a little more time on my first-person baby. Problem is, the more time I spend in front of the computer, the less time I spend being active. Vicious cycle!
  
• Why can't I spend more time working out? (See above for answer.) I need to make working out a non-negotiable thing, like sleeping and brushing my teeth. 

So, as you can see, I don't have that many grievances. Now, onto the feats of strength!

Last week was my yearly physical, and with that comes the bloodwork. I had been pretty nervous about what was swimming in my system, because last year everything was a little out of whack.

A little meaning total cholesterol of 203 and triglycerides around the same. Not very good.

My goal in life is to not have to take any "fat person drugs." I already take Synthroid, over-the-counter allergy meds and Nexium (I produce way too much stomach acid for one human). I did not want to add to the drug count.

I have been taking 2 grams of fish oil, a gram of perilla oil and lately a gram of borage oil. I also added 2 tablespoons of psyllium fiber a day. All that on top of my usual multivitamin, Emergen-C, green tea EGCG, and various other supplements du jour. Suffice to say, a few times a day I take a swig of some concoction and go "bleah." But it beats pharmaceuticals, especially if it works.

And it did work!

Total cholesterol is now 188, triglycerides are 116 and my cholesterol ratio is 4.2 -- all just dandy. All I need to do is get my HDL a few points higher.

Then there's my weight. I lost a few pounds but nothing to write home about. My doctor is a diabetes specialist (I picked him for that reason; I don't have it but I never wanna get it) so he sees plenty of hefty folks. And he's convinced that some people have rotten metabolisms -- mine is one of them.

We discussed things like lap bands and gastric sleeves but really, I'm TOO THIN for them. Ha! And I'm not going to push the subject with my insurance company like some under-the-wire people do. No, I'm determined to get this crap off with diet and exercise even though my doc says I'll have to exercise my brains out and starve myself.

Good times.

My assignment this week: I'm working on finishing Jillian Michaels' Master Your Metabolism because my metabolism needs some serious mastering. 

And coming soon ... my sister reappears! Yes, there is another sister on this blog. She promises that she's got something good cooking for the new year. And I'm holding her to it.

 ... and I have pretty much nothing to show for it on the scale.

When I went last year and said "see ya next year!" I thought I'd be knocking his socks off with a total transformation.

But that didn't happen.

Yeah, sure I'm down a few pounds but it's been a year and I've been beating myself up ever since I made the appointment last week.

But I came to a few realizations:

1. I have to drop my calories down to a really unpleasant level to lose weight. I have one of "those" metabolisms. So I'm gonna have to suck it up and cut back to 1,200 a day.
2. I haven't been counting the calories of all the supplements I take. Over the weekend I realized that the 4 grams of fish oil (for anti-inflammatory and cholesterol lowering properties), the 2 tablespoons of psyllium (also cholestrerol), the packet of Emergen-C and the two Adora calcium supplements are 200 calories. (Hand slapping forehead.)
3. I need to work out more. Not necessarily hard, just more consistently.

So I'll see my doctor and insist that I can do this without any "fat person meds." You know -- statins, blood pressure meds, etc. I take enough stuff for my allergies and don't want to go there. Besides, my cholesterol is OK, just a little over normal, and my ratio is good.

I have my tools in place now -- loads of fiber, fresh produce, fewer carbs, more protein, making every single calorie count. I also discovered a kick-ass Turbo Kick class at the gym that'll burn tons of calories and a great kettlebell workout in my giant DVD mountain (Kettlenetics).

That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.

Really.

I swear.